becoming me

I need to know what I want, or rather what I should want and should be wanting.

Before the holidays I got a little worried. I wasn’t sure if I was able to cope with all my subjects as I know I’ve taken more than I can handle (or think I can handle). When I got a very low mark for one of my reports for journalism, I was sad and wondering if I would regret taking it. With all the other subjects and so many books to read, I’m not sure if I have enough time to cover everything. But today it felt better. I guess I’ve to learn to face my failures & weaknesses in order to move on and do better, not just in this course but also everything else. Yeah…

I totally love my literature classes. I never ever thought I would love lit this much. I guess I’m really inspired by the lecturers. They’re amazing. So I’ve been spending lots of money on books, but I think it’s worth it. I’ve been reading more classic and Shakespeare isn’t that bad! hehe… Oh, it’s just the beginning of my quest for knowledge… Yup. There’s just SO much to learn…

Thursday

• It rained quite heavily. There were three of us and one umbrella. The boy didn’t really share the umbrella.
• It was fun knocking door-by-door and asking if they wanted to hear about Jesus.
• 14-year-old Jeremy really impressed us with his enthusiasm to share Christ. Seriously.
• An Indian lady allowed us to share with her. And she smiled warmly. How encouraging.
• I bumped my head whilst trying to get into William’s car. Was caught up with avoiding the puddle of water that I didn’t look at the door.
• We got drenched. Spent more than an hour in that cold, cold McDs.
• Felt like I was on the verge of falling sick.
• My head still hurts today.
• Ouch.

I entered my room and it smelled like shit. Found the pile of shit behind a table. Moved everything and cleaned it. Put Pepper into the box. Cleaned, wiped, swept, mopped. Pepper meowed non-stop. I tried getting rid of that shit smell but the smell got stronger. Looked into the box. Pepper had shit in the box! Urgh! Had to clean shit again. Fine! So, cleaned the box again… Wiped Pepper clean. When I was on comp, she played at the edge of my table. She lost balance. She fell and as she fell, she tried grabbing my hand. Ended up leaving a huge scratch on my left wrist. OUCH!!!!

Just the other day, she pee-ed on the floor. So I cleaned it. Came out of the toilet and I found shit in that same spot!!!

Okay, I had it. If my mum is not planning to tell my grandma about Pepper, I will return her to her family. Did I mention we kinda found Pepper’s mum, dad and three siblings somewhere outside my house? Yea, I’m so gonna return her if my mum does not get a proper toilet for Pepper coz I’m done cleaning poop…

(After so much said, when Pepper poops tomorrow, guess who’s gonna clean it?)